Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon Perfectly Imperfect
by Lady of Misrule
Summary: Sometimes, some people are meant to be, even when they don't realize it, even when they don't acknowledge it...sometimes the missing piece is just perfect in it's imperfection. Khushi/Arnav
1. Chapter 1  Fire and Gasoline

___**Perfectly Imperfect**_

_Authors Note: Thank you all for the number of comments and like on my other OS and FF, I'm new so I have no idea how to provide links or I would, and I have finals as of tomorrow or else I would reply to the wonderful comments, which I will as soon as my finals end promise!, but I really wanted to put this up first it literally popped in my head in the middle of me writing my term paper…lol gotta love ArHi!_

_P.S.-Do like and comment if you like the work. Thanks in advance. _

_P.P.S. –Oh this is kinda a song inspired SS, so I'll be including a song for each chapter that is meant to be heard while reading the fic or before/after. _

_The song for this chapter is – Tomorrow, by-Chris Young _

_Tomorrow I'm gonna leave here.  
>I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would.<br>And tomorrow, I'm gonna listen.  
>To that voice of reason inside my head telling me that we're no good.<em>

_But tonight I'm gonna give in one last time.  
>Rock you strong in these arms of mine.<br>Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow.  
>We're like fire and gasoline.<br>I'm no good for you.  
>You're no good for me.<br>We only bring each other tears and sorrow.  
>But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow.<em>

It was often purported that Arnav Singh Raizada had a more than formidable temper.

Not an incorrect assumption by any standards, but standing silently in front of his incensed wife as she told him off like an errant toddler he wondered if that notion shouldn't be more aptly directed towards his beautifully enraged better-half.

"Do you have any idea how late you are? Aap ko kya lagta hain, aap Arnav Singh Raizada ho toh bhagwan bhi apko liye intezaar karenge?"

Arnav couldn't help but bite back a smile as he mentally noted how beautiful her eyes looked when she was angry, he'd have to make sure he riled her up a bit more, he decided immediately, not enough to be relegated to the couch like he was last time he quickly amended- but just enough.

"….aur phir Mamiji ne bhi…aap has raheho?" Khushi asked more hurt than anything else, at what in her eyes was her husband's callousness. She knew he didn't believe in all the _reeti-reewaj's_ she considered such an intricate part of her life, but he'd never laughed at her for them, he'd always understood, at least…he'd always seemed to understand. All together it was suddenly too much, the being there, the not being there the doubts, the feeling of never being enough, never being perfect, and with a knowledge born of heartache and a painful practicality Khushi realized that the doubters, the naysayers, the cynics…they were all right.

Arnav sobered immediately at the faint thread of hurt reproach in her voice, his hands reaching out for her the second the slight break in her voice registered, _Damn it , he was an absolute idiot not the mention an ignorant ass- _ he should have known Khushi would be taking this seriously, how was it he managed a multimillion-dollar company with the ease of a child at play, yet he seemed to always manage to royally screw up when it came to his wife.

Khushi blinked back tears as she limply allowed her husband to enfold her in his arms, was this really how it was always going to be, him being to unaware of the little things that mattered to her and her being too weak to reject what comfort he would offer, no matter how fleeting no matter how nominal.

"Heyy…shuuussh…." Arnav murmured tenderly to the top of her head, his lips caressing the strands of her hair as he spoke, his heart clenching at the thought that he, no matter how inadvertently, was the reason behind the sparkling tears now cascading down his wife's eyes only to soak into the front of his waistcoat, as his hold on her tightened of its own accord. "Oh babe…you have to stop you're tearing me apart."

It was in that moment that Khushi decided- she was worse than an addict, she was beyond addicted, beyond redemption…and it had to stop…if not for her for the man she couldn't help but love. The very thought of walking away brought on a fresh onslaught of tears. Trembling, she clutched at the front of his shirt, kissing him with all the desperation she felt and all the fear, and all the heartbreaking grief, melting as always as he kissed her back, his kiss an embodiment of an apology of worship, and weakly she shut her mind to everything that told her to step away before the pain was unbearable and let him, knowing that in the dark days that would follow the memory of this kiss of this night would be what got her through.

One last time.

Just once.

_Tomorrow I'll be stronger.  
>I'm not gonna break down and call you up when my heart calls out for you.<br>And tomorrow, you won't believe it,  
>but when I pass your house,<br>I won't stop no matter how bad I want to._

_Baby when we're good, you know we're great.  
>But there's too much bad for us to think that there's anything worth trying to save.<em>

_Tomorrow, I'm gonna leave here.  
>I'm gonna let you go and walk away like every day I said I would.<em>

**Precap:**

Her eyes bright with unshed tears, Khushi felt her heart shatter to pieces as she voiced her darkest fears, "Do you think…maybe we were wrong…maybe we weren't meant to be…ek saath, shayad …hum kuch zyada hi alag hain…shayad humare liye…."


	2. Chapter 2  Without a Reason

**Perfectly Imperfect**

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><p><em>Authors Note: Reviews= Faster updates.<em>

_SO- Do like and comment if you like the work. Thanks in advance. _

_P.S. And as this is kinda a song inspired SS_, _the song for this chapter is - Almost Here- Brian McFadden and Delta Goodrem_

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><p><em>Chapter Two <em>

_**- Without a reason- **_

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><p>Did I hear you right<br>'cause I thought you said  
>Let's think it over<br>You have been my life  
>And I never planned<br>Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light  
>Where the love once shined so bright<br>Came without a reason  
>Don't let go on us tonight<br>Love's not always black and white  
>Haven't I always loved you?<p>

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><p>His eyes still, wide open, Arnav Singh Raizada continued to stare at the roof f his upscale heart of Delhi Mansion, it's glass skylight letting him gaze unhindered into o the starry black sky without leaving the comfort of him bed, or more accurately without having to leave the perfection of his wife's unconscious embrace. Fighting the urge to go light up a cigarette, the thirty year old self made millionaire, shifted his weight carefully to his elbow, raising himself up so he could watch the soft play of shadows across his wife's beautiful face.<p>

Smiling to himself he, tenderly traced the bridge of her pert little nose, a sharp constriction casting itself across his heart as she scrunched it up like an annoyed child at the touch_. _It terrified him how much she meant to him, it was in part why he was spending as much time as he could away from her, the power she had over him was beyond anything he had ever thought could exist, she could destroy him with one look, one tear, and it scared him. The last time he anyone had , had such an unconditional hold it had nearly destroyed him, and everyone around him, and the mere thought that she could reduce him to that was humbling.

Was petrifying .

_How had he survived before her?_

He was hurting her.

He could see that, in the faint bruised shadows encircling her eyes, but he honestly didn't know how to let her in that far. It was….he just couldn't.

He pressed a lingering kiss to his beautiful wife's brow, whispering into her hair the words he dared not admit to his conscious self.

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><p><em>But when I need you<em>  
><em>You're almost here<em>  
><em>And I know that's not enough<em>  
><em>And when I'm with you<em>  
><em>I'm close to tears<em>  
><em>'cause your only almost here<em>

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><p>Careful not to move a muscle, Khushi lay silently her heart and soul aching with the unshed tears that leaked silently from the corners of her eyes as she lay immobile in the arms of the man who still refused to trust her with his love, yet again held back, whispering to her sleeping from what he refused to tell her in person.<p>

Maybe she was just …unlovable.

Maybe when he held her at night , when she was asleep, he was able to pretend she was the woman he had broken it off with so long ago…her once upon a time cultural prodigy. His gorgeous …sophisticated…ex-fiancé.

Maybe he was right to hold back.

Biting her bottom lip brutally to hold back the moan of agony creeping into her now hollow form, Khushi waited till se heard the steady breathing of her husband before moving out of the cradle of his arms her heartbeat constricting as she turned to look at him, not daring to press a kiss to him, as he had to her, afraid he'd wake up before she had a chance to give him what he so badly deserved…her…walking away.

His freedom.

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><p><em>I would change the world<br>If I had a chance  
>Oh won't you let me<br>Treat me like a child  
>Throw your arms around me<br>Oh please protect me_

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><p>"What are you doing?" Asked Arnav, his senses still muffled with sleep, which after the 20 work day he had just put in was no surprise.<p>

Khushi froze, her hands closing over the jangling keys which had in all probability woke him up. Arnav peered at her suspiciously his, eyes still refusing to co-operate and work clearly. "Come back to bed. Don't leave me here alone in this cold."

Khushi choked on a gasp as she held back what seemed to be her constant flow of tears.

He would have to say something like that.

_Idiot._

Even knowing he meant it literally, Arnav head never particularly liked cold weather and relished the warmth of human contact, still. _Don't leave me…_

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><p><em>Bruised and battered by your words<br>Dazed and shattered now it hurts  
>Haven't I always loved you<em>

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><p>Her eyes bright with unshed tears, Khushi felt her heart shatter to pieces as she voiced her darkest fears, "Do you think...maybe we were wrong...maybe we weren't meant to be...ek saath... shayad ...hum kuch zyada hi alag hain...shayad humare liye..."<p>

Arnav still blear eyed looked up at her in confusion, and immediately Khushi hated herself for her weakness, she was practically begging him to ask her to stay.

He deserved …more.

"Kuch nehi…I mean …aap rehne dijiye. Hum…" she quickly put in as he opened his mouth to presumably ask exactly what she was on about, "…hume jalebi banana hain…" And with that said she slipped out of his sight before he could say another word.

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><p><em>But when I need you<br>You're almost here  
>Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you<br>And when I hold you your almost here  
>Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted<br>And now I'm with you I'm close to tears  
>'cause I know I'm almost here<br>Only almost here_


	3. Chapter 3 Always

_Authors Note: Thank you all for the wonderful comments._

_P.S. ' If your reading and not reviewing/commenting please take time out to do so, we writers put a lot of time and effort into these fanfics and our only return on them is the satisfaction of knowing someone like you is reading our work and appreciating it._

_SO- Do like and comment if you like the work. Thanks in advance._

_P.S. And as this is a song inspired SS_, _the song for this chapter is -_

_Always on My Mind- Elvis Presley  
><em>

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><p><em><span> Chapter Three<span>_

**_-Always -_**

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><p>As ridiculously cliche as it was the truth of the matter was that even half dazed with sleep, Arnav knew there was no way he would be getting back to sleep. For as was with all men, Arnav Singh Raizada too had an Achilles heel, and as was with all great men his was a woman.<p>

His wife.

If asked, he would, not only, never admit it, but he the truth was she was more than merely his better-half, she was his absolution. She was the reason he'd cut down so much on his overseas business trips, the distance was hell, and yet on the other hand she was the reason he would increase the trips, like a terrified addict whose moments of fear would slip in.

And more than that -moments of realization of how badly that need existed.

Denial.

Any other day, any other night and he would pretend to sleep, his eyes closed as he would wait as she would vent her frustration on her much loved _jalebi's. _He would wait for her muffled footsteps as she would sneak back into their room, and under the covers, snuggling up to his chest, her hand splaying over his heart as she would slowly feather a kiss and say in her oh so soft voice, "I love you."

But not tonight.

Earlier today, when she'd been berating him for his tardiness, he'd seen something in her eyes, that shook him to the core.

He'd seen ... _ hopelessness._

And in that split second he'd realized his ego, his fears, his pride...none of it was worth it if that was what he was doing to her. Somehow the anger the tears he had always been able to deal with, had always been able to accept but for a spirit like hers to even know what hopelessness was ... that was more than even he could bear.

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><p><em>Maybe I didn't treat you <em>

_Quite as good as I should have  
>Maybe I didn't love you<br>Quite as often as I could have  
>Little things I should have said and done<br>I just never took the time_

_You were always on my mind_

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><p>Tears rolling down her cheeks, his brave beauty had a fist pressed to her mouth muffling her heart wrenching sobs. And all at once he was helpless. Arnav Singh Raizada the man who was known in the business world for his apathy, felt destroyed.<p>

Frozen at the doorway to the kitchen, he watched in horror as the woman he had wanted to do nothing more than cherish, tore herself apart. He had come down here expecting to find her laboring over the stove making her perfect little _jalebi's_ but the sight of her standing there clutching what looked to be a crumpled piece of paper in her hand sent ice down his veins.

"Khushi?"

She looked up, her eyes pools of molten chocolate, and then just as she looked like she was about to collapse, he was there. His arms locking around her, crushing her to him. "Baby?"

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><p><em>Maybe I didn't hold you<br>All those lonely, lonely times  
>And I guess I never told you<br>I'm so happy that you're mine  
>If I make you feel second best<br>Girl, I'm so sorry I was blind_

_You were always on my mind_

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><p>Ironically it was as if his endearment had brought on a fresh onslaught of tears and his vivacious wife crumpled in his arms, oblivious to everything around her but the warmth of her husband's arms. A husband she didn't deserve, she admitted silently. It wasn't as if she'd never heard the taunts, but her being the person she was had always held the statement in little to no regard, but now as she finally stood in her husband's arms for the last time she admitted if only in the privacy of her own mind, how selfish she had been in doing so.<p>

He deserved someone who was better...smarter...he deserved so much more...then it hadn't mattered, because she had thought he wanted her. Had wanted what they had together.

Eventually, as her husband continued to rock her tenderly and oh-so-gently in his arms, Khushi Raizada ran out of tears, at least the ones on the outside.

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><p><em>Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died<br>Give me, give me one more chance  
>To keep you satisfied, satisfied<em>

_Little things I should have said and done  
>I just never took the time<br>You were always on my mind_

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><p>Arnav Singh Raizada, was said to be invincible.<p>

His reputation of brutality was surpassed only by his own reputation of apathy, and mercilessness. In short it was said he was a man who the business world claimed to have a calculator for a mind and a circuit board for a heart.

Perhaps such statements were proof of how off track journalism had become in today's world.

One look at him as he stood now helplessly cradling his now limp wife in the kitchen of his own home, and his reputation as a ruthless business magnate would be reduced to cinders. And yet, none of that was n his mind then, all he knew, all he cared about was that his wife, had voiced some half formed doubts up in their bedroom out of what seemed to be the absolute blue, only to come down here and cry herself unconscious.

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><p><em>Maybe I didn't treat you <em>

_Quite as good as I should have  
>Maybe I didn't love you<br>Quite as often as I could have_

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><p>And somehow he was to blame.<p>

That beyond anything else tore at him.

He was responsible.

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><p><em>Maybe I didn't hold you<br>All those lonely, lonely times  
>And I guess I never told you<br>I'm so happy that you're mine_

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><p>Just as he'd failed his Di so many years ago, his mother before that. No matter how successful his business ventures would be he would always be the reason people fell apart. He'd even succeeded in breaking the most beautiful spirit he'd met.<p>

He'd failed her.

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><p><em>Maybe I didn't treat you'<br>Quite as good as I should have'_

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><p>AN::

P.P.S - the faster the comments fly in the faster my next chapter comes out. Yes I am saying I accept bribes in the form of comments. =P Hope you enjoyed it 3


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